“The most interesting minister in the world”

• When the most interesting minister leads a silent prayer, birds stop singing. 
• When the most interesting minister prays before the offering, the plates fill with credit cards, earrings and gold watches.
• Other ministers have to lead the prayer of confession, because the most interesting minister has nothing to say.
• During hymns, the congregation wishes the most interesting minister’s lapel mic was on.
• When the most interesting minister reads scripture, most assume she wrote it.
  When the most interesting minister has a baby dedication the baby always cries, when he hands the baby back to the mother.
• When the most interesting minister leads the children’s sermon, everyone comes to the front.
• When the most interesting minister steps into the baptistery, the water parts.

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• When the most interesting minister serves communion, it does not taste like grape juice.
• When the most interesting minister preaches, cell phones refuse to ring.
• The most interesting minister speaks fluent Hebrew and Greek, but never does so in the pulpit.
• Nine months after the most interesting minister’s sermon on Song of Solomon, the nursery ran out of space.
• When the most interesting minister preached on the Book of Revelation it made sense.
• The most interesting minister preached on the war in Afghanistan, abortion, and gay marriage.  Everyone agreed with everything she said.
• The most interesting minister quotes The Lighter Side.
• The most interesting minister never preaches long enough.
• Ministers from other churches join the most interesting minister’s church just to shake his hand.
• After Sunday services, the most interesting minister autographs orders of worship—which have been known to show up on e-Bay.
• When the organ is broken, the most interesting minister fixes it, without tools.
• When the most interesting minister speaks at deacons’ meetings, deacons repent.
• The most interesting minister does not go to committee meetings, they come to him.
• The youth have a Sunday for her. 
• When the most interesting minister served at the Wednesday night supper, the kitchen got a five star rating in the next day’s newspaper. 
• When the most interesting minister led a Bible study on Genesis 3, apple sales plummeted.
• When the most interesting minister performs a wedding ceremony, no one looks at the bride.
• When the most interesting minister preaches at a funeral, people cry because the deceased did not get to hear it. 
• The most interesting minister performs the Christmas pageant as a one person play. 
• When the most interesting minister built a house for Habitat for Humanity, it was immediately renamed Habitat for Divinity.
• Billy Graham comes to his crusades.
• Joel Osteen copied the most interesting minister’s smile.
• The most interesting minister knows your name, your birthday, and the year of your birth—which she never mentions.
• The most interesting minister has been to Israel many times, and each time, peace breaks out.
• I don’t always go to church, but when I do I prefer my minister.  Stay interesting, ministers. 

    

http://peculiarpreacher.com/